If you’re feeling bad about yourself, please read this.
I really wish that I could hug (or engage in some other socially-acceptable gesture of affection that doesn’t make you uncomfortable) you all.
I don’t know if it’s a trend among people in this fandom, or online in general, or just the sort of crowd that gravitates here, but I know that not a day goes by on tumblr without me seeing bright, beautiful, creative, talented people who honestly believe that they’re talentless failures, that they shouldn’t exist, that they contribute nothing worthwhile to friends or fandom or even their own personal lives — people who are hurting and struggling on a regular basis.
I’m not one of those people that’s going to tell you to just suck it up and carry on, because I know it isn’t that easy. I’m not going to invalidate or dismiss your feelings as nonsense, because I know that’s not what you need or want to hear. I’m not going to tell you that everything’s going to get better and be wonderful for you some day because that’s an impossible promise to make.
But I will be honest.
I believe people are beautiful and valuable, and can produce unexpectedly beautiful things when given the chance to do so. I believe that it’s not always possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps all the time, and that there’s no shame in that. I believe that everyone needs something safe to turn to when they’re at their worst, but I also believe that the people who are most in need of that are usually the least likely to ask for it.
Sometimes, people don’t want someone to coddle them, or pity them. They don’t want someone to bemoan their inability to help or fix things or make everything better. They don’t want ‘helpful’ advice or instructions or empty promises. They don’t want to open themselves up to judgement.
Sometimes, people just want to be heard, to have someone actually listen to what they’re saying. And all too often, they feel like that’s the one thing they just can’t ask for.
When we’re hurting, many of us have a tendency to withdraw inside ourselves, when reaching out is what we really need. It’s scary. But if someone is ever feeling terrible about themselves and just wants somebody to listen, my ears are always open.
I can’t fix your problems. I probably can’t physically do anything to help you, even if I wish I could. But I also won’t tell you what to do, and I won’t project my own frustrations about not being able to help onto you. I will sympathize, but I won’t pity. I won’t make you empty promises. I won’t tell you to suck it up or just learn to live with it. I won’t criticize. I won’t judge.
But as long as I am able to do so in any capacity, I really don’t care who you are, or what you like, or if we even really know each other.
I will listen, the best that I can.
Reblogging because this is a message that should be read by everyone, and especially by myself. I do feel like this almost everyday when I try to do something creative, especially when I constantly have to force myself not to self-deprecate anything I do and share, when I feel I could have done better but don’t know how to. I have gone over the bump of expecting people to actually like what I do, but I haven’t beaten the monster that is this feeling of being clumsy and technologically impaired and handicapped with art, and vocabulary impaired and culturally blind with writings.
I know what I need to work on every day, and I keep doing it whenever I can, but the feeling of being “clumsy” and “not good enough” because of these (somehow irrelevant in the greater scheme of things) technical difficulties is another challenge that I have to overcome.
Like I once said to someone, the feeling I have when I draw something for someone, is like a 5-year old giving something for her parents to please them, while they are waiting for a beautiful painting from a pro.
Yet I keep doing it. I do believe in the intent coming from the heart is what matters. But ego won’t shut up about it. ;)
