Fic: Like I Bleed - C is for Cauthrien
Letter C in Teagan’s world, from the War is Never Cheap Here universe. (Letter B is here.) Links to Teagan’s letter “C”s from the other two alphabets, are at the bottom.
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C is for Cauthrien
In the weeks Teagan waited for Cauthrien’s first letter to reach him, Teagan started no less than ten letters back to Cauthrien. He didn’t know what her letter would say, how her trip back to Denerim would fare, or what kind of welcome she would receive on her return. In each letter – before it the ink was scrubbed from it, or the parchment was tossed out completely – he forewent any assumptions about her trip or her return or the state of the Queen (he knew more about that than he wanted to anyhow) and simply wrote.
Dearest Cauthrien,
I miss you.
My Cauthrien,
I love you.
Cauthrien,
I cannot wait to see you again.
They didn’t all start that way. Sometimes he wrote first about the state of Rainesfere, often he began simply with the state of himself: I’ve spent some time in the training yard. Hilde and Jaron say I might not be completely useless with a sword someday soon. I don’t think they’re having me on completely. Perhaps there might be hope for me yet.
Each of his attempts, however they began, ended the same: Thinking of you always, Teagan.
He could think of little else in truth, even as his seneschal prodded him to work, even while he worked, while he slept, and most especially- while he dreamed; she was there. Before it had happened to him, he might never have understood the grand difference a month could make. How his bitterness might slide away, his anger, his fear – not all gone, not forgotten – but changed, and he hoped for good.
He wasn’t sure how he could believe that one person, could be both the reason for many of his fears and also, the reason those fears were fast fading, and the woman he loved. And it was love. He was convinced of that long before her first letter arrived. Though it was only by the second week, when he knew she would be nearing Denerim, that he feel free enough to admit it to himself. Free enough to think that yes, Cauthrien: strange, beautiful, loyal, dutiful, Cauthrien, had become the woman he loved.
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AO3 Links
WAR: Like I Bleed - C is for Cauthrien
Blight: Like I Wait - C is for Connor
Romance: Like I Feel - C is for Champion
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